The universe and its time
Topic: Rambling

You know something, no matter how much I want something, the universe doesn't give a fuck. And I expect nothing more from the universe. The universe will keep expanding without me without bound. Thermodynamics reigns supreme, and disorganization is all I can expect. I don't want to sit here in the night, but the universe has given me nothing to change it, and I shouldn't have expected it to.

The example sits right next to me. All day long, you and I think our computers defy the disorder. And we are all wrong. Feel that heat? Yup, it took a lot of energy to organize that information. You see, the universe always wins.

All men and women lose in the face of infinity. We're all the same carbon, the same general layout, the same functioning. Any difference perceived between us all is purely arbitrary and a figment of the imagination. If we could come beyond that, maybe we could all have a little peace and happiness before entropy takes away our illusions.

One day, the Pyramids at Giza will be nothing more than sand and a small footnote in scope of geological time and and even more minuscule mention in the scope of galactic time. One day, the ruins in Greece shall cease to be, and the ruins in Rome. One day, everything we know here will no longer exist. All our history since civilization is not even an eye-blink in that scope of time. In the 5,000 or so years we've all been playing at civilization, our solar system has traversed 0.0022 percent of its galactic orbit.

We all need to come above this pettiness and realize that in the scope of such things, we are all equally small. But we are not all equally unimportant. We represent the one thing we have yet to find anywhere else: intelligence. The fact that we can recognize this is testament to the greatness of us as a total whole. But we need to realize that we are fragile and we exist in a fragile place. Earth may seem mighty to us, but even it is incredibly small and weak.

Eventually, we will all expire. The universe at some point will expand such that there is no usable energy left, and all intelligence left here will die. It will not matter how many monuments we build here on this rock, there will be no observers, and likely this planet will have been long consumed by our star. But if we come beyond this, stop the stupid shit, we may find a way to escape the death of this universe. We may find a way so that we truly do have an infinite time. Otherwise our time is fixed. And the universe will go on without and merrily bring our end through one occurrence or another.

Are we really that stupid?
Topic: Daily Info

Let's play a game children. First, some assumptions. I'm assuming Minnesota's current 6.5% sales-tax (which currently is only on processed goods such as fast-food, DVD's, consumer electronics) will still be assessed. Also, I'll use a system similar to the IEEE floating point rounding standard. Now let's see what happens if there were a 23% national sales-tax.

Okay, say you want to buy a DVD which costs $19.99 before tax. Under the old system, you'd pay $21.29. With the new sales tax, you'd pay $25.89.

Or maybe you'd like to buy a new DVD player? Okay, assuming you buy one of those cheap numbers from WalMart, we're talking $69.95 before tax. So with the old tax, you'd pay $74.50. The new tax would make you pay $90.59. A little more illustrative, wouldn't you say?

Then, you can also forget tax-free textile products, which means no more tax-free clothing, which means the poor are even less able to get weather-appropriate clothing.

You do realize this only benefits the wealthy (and uber-wealthy) right? They buy more or less the same amount of stuff you do, maybe paying a dollar or so more per item (ignoring the high profile items). So instead of taking, I dunno, a flat 10% from their income (negating capital gains, which is where most wealth resides), you'll take about the same 23% from everyone on the same fixed spending level. So you and I, the middle-class and lower, shoulder the burden most heavily. An extra 23% on my spending budget is huge in relation to my income. An extra 23% on a spending budget for an income of $200,000 plus a year is nothing.

The rich get richer, the poor get fucked. Funny, if banning gay marriage was such a big issue, why hasn't there been any legislation on that yet? If any of you Republican-dweebles out there care to answer, I'd be interested to hear you illogical response. And be prepared to have you statement crushed under heavy logic, I've yet to encounter an argument from the right I couldn't refute six ways from Sunday.

I bring you the truth, and it is not pretty. I will not let you be deceived. Don't let them do this to you. Be informed, write letters, fill the halls of law, let your voice be known.

The next salvo is loading ...
Topic: Daily Info

I wish I would've met you
now it's a little late.
what you could've taught me
I could've saved some face
they think that your early ending
was all wrong
for the most part they're right
but look how they all got strong
that's why I say hey man, nice shot
what a good shot man.
Hey Man Nice Shot, Filter

Gonna have a nice long article in the next few days, assuming I survive that long in my current mental capacity.

Also, my thoughts touch on those who have been in desperate straits these last few days.

Cuts and gouges
Topic: Rambling

We all have to make hard decisions. Often times the choice hurts us just as much as others. But when the choice is for the better, you have to stay with it. It will hurt today, and it'll probably hurt tomorrow. But it will hurt to lesser and lesser degrees with time. It won't totally go away either; there will be days where a feeling of hurt creeps up and gives your heart a squeeze.

But we are humans (unless there are some Marglars reading this), and we adapt and survive. We've survived a long time on a planet that can be very harsh. We are survivors, and we're damn good at it. So while we may hurt today, we'll hurt less from today's wounds tomorrow, and less and less over time, with phantom twinges of hurt sporadically over time.

A fighter
Topic: Rambling

He is here alone. He is a have-not, fighting for the have-nots. He does not rest, he does not take respite, for there is no time. He goes without because he can afford it not. He does not eat the bread, for it is poisoned by the waste of the haves.

Here he stands in the dead of night. Here he makes his stand alone. All he can do is scream into the blank, and yet no one will hear. He sits and he screams until his voice is raw and he tastes blood upon the back of his throat.

All gestures of condolence are appreciated, but they are too small a bandage to cover a gaping wound. He is bleeding to death, yet still he fights on.

And so he stands, dealt blow after brutal blow. No bell to end the round, only a fight to the bitter end. He fights not for himself, but for everyone else. He asks for no prize but the good of those for whom he fights. No glory does he ask, nor none does he expect.

And so he stands alone. Stands to face the titan. Stands to give his all.

And in the end...gave his life.

Burning out
Topic: Rambling

I am a tried man. I am tired physically, mentally and emotionally.

I am lucky to find six hours of sleep in a night, most nights I sleep for about four hours. I sleep unrestfully on buses and in between classes. I drink liters of coffee and gallons of Dr. Pepper. I have become desensitized to caffeine in that I only notice when it is absent. I walk miles in a week with at least twenty pounds strapped to my back, more often more. I am a man inches from physical breakdown every day. That I have survived three years operating as such is really amazing.

Every week, when Friday rolls around, I can only think of doing nothing. Yet, I really can't do that. I've described how my thought process works before, and it is this that keeps me awake all hours of the night, adding to physical exhaustion. I've always liked a mental challenge. But when they come relentlessly, wave after wave, wearing me thin. I think I can solve almost any computer problem that can be put before me, but when they are layered again and again atop one another and I have such a short window in which to solve them all, I begin to fray around the edges. I sometimes worry about my sanity as such, if at some point, it will break. If not, then I will have been tested in a very hot crucible, and I'll be almost indestructible on the far side.

I'm lonely. I think that word alone suffices. People have called it right, this thing does preoccupy my mind. I fear loneliness. I have been an island for most of my life and I hate it. I want it to stop so I can stop thinking about it. I want it to stop so I can relax and have someone help stitch me together at my edges. Ask me in the daytime and I'll deny that I'm lonely. Ask me in the dead of night, and I'll confess my feelings and speak sooth.

And to top it off, now I'm fighting for a cause. Fighting a colossus of immense proportion and resource. Fighting something that fears me greatly, but wields authority based upon the bullet. But I cannot back down, for there is too much to loose here. This is not from being a concrete black-and-white thinker but from being a compassionate human who has suffered much and can no longer stand idly by and let myself and others endure more suffering. I cannot let hard won rights be undone in eight short years. I cannot stand and let other of my generation to be needlessly sent to die why I sit comfortably here in front of this computer. I must fight, even if I do not win. I cannot stand down. I cannot let people forget what is at stake and the scope of the loss.

I'm tired. I just wanna lay it all down and walk. I just wanna say, "Fuck it! I quit!" But I cannot. My conscience won't let me, even though it would be physically very easy to just leave it all and let the cards fall where they may.

Fuck.

No peace
Topic: Rant

Don't want to be an American idiot.
Don't want a nation under the new media.
And can you hear the sound of hysteria?
The subliminal mindfuck America.
American Idiot, Green Day

I bring no message of peace, for until fundamentalism is gone, there is no peace.

I bring tidings of a fight against corruption, greed, lies, secrecy and fundamentalism.

I vow to never stand down. I vow to bring the power to the people. I vow to never take the lies and crap from above.

I will take from the haves and give to the have-nots. I will shake the foundations of the world.

I question an authority that is afraid of exposure. I question an administration that seeks to reduce the rights of the populace. I question the people that would vote for such an administration.

I ask the America that voted for the deceivers: why are you afraid of homosexuals? Why do wish to deny them the tax status of married couples? The truth is that married couples pay more taxes and get fewer exemptions than single people. Besides, the word of law in the eyes of the document is union. Sanctity of marriage is the domain of the churches, not the government. And if you want the government to protect the sanctity of marriage, then you better fucking ban divorce as well. Consistency, America, I will make you be consistent.

I ask again: do you really believe removing all forms abortion from the sanitary halls of a clinic and the protection of the sacred Hippocratic Oath is a good idea? If a person wants an abortion badly enough, they shall go to any lengths to get it. And they will go to the butchers of mercy in the streets to face mutilation, infection and death. How is that good, America? I will support you anti-abortion stance only with a few conditions: you have to agree to never go to war again and you have to agree to never sentence someone to death. Seriously, who made us arbiters of what human life is valuable? Is a person's life less valuable because he or she has been around for 18 plus years? Or because they do not play on the same team as you? Consistency, you are acting half-assed.

Terrorism. Hello, Earth to the Midwest, what do you have to fear from a terrorist? You have no well definable target for them to attack. Yes, you set on a massive resource of crop, but this covers huge numbers of square miles and is invincible to all but nature. Look at New York, they chose not the warrior, but the holder of the olive branch and the staff. And do you actually feel safe? Do you realize that you have never been safe? Not before, not during and not ever after will you be safe. No you do not need to live in irrational fear, but you need to be aware that the world is dangerous. You are more likely to die this evening on your commute home than you are to die from a terrorist or an invading government. You are more likely to die on your way home than by any other means (excepting smoking). Do not fear, and let no one make you fear. Turn that fear into indignation and demand that your leaders stop their mongering. Demand that your leaders stop increasing the risk, since the danger does exist in levels, but never at zero. Ask why that warning system has never gone green or blue. I know the answer, but you have to ask yourself are you ready for it.

So enjoy your pop-stars and your movie stars if they bring you escape from reality. Soon, no matter how much you or they try, the world shall never allow you a temporary suspension or reality. Things here are beginning to spin out of control, and no one is at the helm. While you sit in the dark and pay no attention, we shall struggle to save you all. And we shall ask only one thing when we have saved this out of control ship, that you never let go again.

The sea is no longer calm and the sky no longer clear and bright. We are here in the storm in the dark. Religion and politics sit in the same cart, as they have not done in centuries, and the whirlwind is sure to follow*.

I bring you no peace today, to say that is to lie. I bring you a path to peace, and it is fraught with peril. I'm willing to walk the path, as are many others. We talk the talk and we will walk the walk. At the end of the path lies the goal, and we will get there.

Power to the people.

*Paraphrased from Frank Herbert's Dune.

Fight!
Topic: Daily Info

With precision you feed me
My witness i'm hungry
Your temple it calms me
So I can carry on
My slaving sweating the skin right off my bones
On a bed of fire i'm choking on the smoke that fills my home
The wrecking ball rushing
My witness your blushing
The pipeline is gushing
While here we lie in tombs
While on the corner
The jury's sleepless
We found your weakness
And it's right outside your door

Now testify
Testify, Rage Against The Machine

First, a big resounding FUCK YOU to Ohio. Lemme say that another way. FUUUUUCK YOU Ohio. You can all eat shit. Fuckers. Are you blind? You are one of the worst off states due to Bush. Given that you believed otherwise against clear and present facts, I have a few bridges and parks you may be interested in buying.

Ya' done fucked up, America. Congratulations on endorsing a group of people that want regression.

I have changed my mind (Yes, I can do that, dogged, concrete thinking is a sign of mental instability, ask a psychologist). I shall stay here, and I shall fight hard with every ounce of my being. I will point out every logical inconsistency. I will point out out every flaw and every contradiction. I will make it painfully obvious that this decision was wrong. I shall be front and center at every protest. We may have been defeated, but the margin was not that great. We may have been defeated, but this does not mean we have to roll over and take it.

I encourage all of you who feel down-hearted and disenfranchised to stand up and fight. We can keep these things on everyone's minds, we can keep pressing. Nothing is more powerful than an unrestful populace, so we must remain unrestful. Remember, there are another set of crucial elections in 2 years, and there we can hope to yank control of the legislature away from the regressors. Two years is long time, but we can make it. We just have to be willing to stand up and be strong.

It would be nice if there were healing but that would require a step away from the fundamentalism that is running this country. And if what is meant by healing is embracing or tolerating fundamentalism, I never want any healing. I want to shred that wound open and rout out this infection.

We may have lost this day, but the margin is not large enough to be called a mandate. So we must question and fight at every turn. Questioning your elected officials is the most patriotic things you can do, and let no one tell you otherwise. I will continue to be hypercritical of all my elected officials, and I will not let them lie to me. I will not stand down. I will not concede. And I encourage you to do the same. We will win forth in the long run, but to do that, we cannot back off now.

Power to the people.

Voted
Topic: Daily Info

Well, I cast ballot number 977 for my precinct. And now to avoid all news-sources (especially that shit-pump Fox News) until tomorrow morning.

Votes
Topic: Daily Info

Well, in about 18 hours and 13 minutes, Minnesota will have cast its last ballot. And in another short slew of hours after that, we will all know the outcome. Here's hoping this country can open its eyes and see the stupidity that sits in office and decide to remove it. Oh, and for the fundamentalists, please, please, please stay the fuck home or go form your own country somewhere.

Remember the Puritans were kicked out for not being too liberal, but for being too conservative.

Oh yeah. One further thing. To the Texans who like the phrase "It's like a whole other country": Fine. Go form your own country. We'd be better off without your foolish and asinine shit.

Here's hoping we can step forward for the good of humanity, instead of a step back.

Short Aside: Here are two reasons to vote Kerry:

1. He supports furthering research of all kinds (not just stem cell as the Republicans claim, but also things like alternative fuels).
2. He supports higher education.

Good night.

And................................................